Being a prick – it’s the new black

SEO 1Want to be No 1 on Google? Here’s how?

Be controversial. No. Not controversial. That’s not really good enough to get above the noise. Cause offence, be vile, be rank, rude, be cruel, be caustic, be bigoted, be spiteful, be inhumane…………. but most of all…………be despised. The more they hate you, the better. You’re even allowed to turn on yourself…… hey Andre??

We all love a bit of red mist to get our teeth into.

Watch those Analytics go crazy.

You know…..it’s not a popularity contest.

It’s a…. it’s an indignation contest.

Making waves of mutilation is turning into an art form. An indignation, disapproval and genuine pissed offness that wins column inches and profile contest. Anything for more posts, comments, tweets and blogs. And believe you me there are plenty of people out there to upset. Sentiment? Nah. That others think you’re a total twonk is a mere inconvenience, collateral damage. Everything’s irrelevant (keep your mind on the prize, mind on the prize) except for coverage. So what’s the prize anyway? Who knows, maybe you’ll trend, make it into onto Channel 4 news or the Today Programme, land a place on Strictly.

You do need 2 vital ingredients though to make it really work

  • An existing public profile (who gives a toss about you or me?)
  • A skin made thicker than thick by the desperate need for even more publicity

The hot new SEO technique as used by mavericks, lose cannons, free spirits, shock jocks guaranteed to nail you to the top of Google. Carefully calculated. Contrived. A deliberate and deployed SEO technique. Despite every appearance to the contrary these are for the most part pretty smart people.

A.A.Gill does it all the time, but this time he’s really done it. Jan Moir did it. Nick Griffin does it. Clarkson has always done it. Everyone’s at it. Being a prick. It’s the new black.

It’s all a transaction. A deal cut straight from the Robert Johnson school of dodgy things to get involved with to further your career. The calculation made that when the tide goes out and the wrath has abated that you have made territorial gains. That your personal brand will stand stronger than it would have otherwise.

And when the kitchen starts getting too hot what do they do? They play the ‘ahhh well I was being deliberately outrageous in order to provoke a reaction so that we can all have an adult debate about the serious issues at hand’ card.

Better faux controversy than faux courage, as Paul Carr says

These people are dumb. But not that dumb.

Ever have the feeling you’ve been cheated?

Thanks to Mikee Showbiz for the images

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